Sunday 13 October 2019

ENTRY ONE







I created this space in early 2013. I published half-hearted posts every once in a while and then in 2015, just two years after the birth of this space, I disappeared. I had only just moved to Australia and the perils of real life were beginning to knock on my door. It was not very serious, if you ask me now but for an eighteen year old kid who had never seen the world beyond the four walled boundaries set by his parents, it was a lot to take in. 

My excuse for abandoning this space was my undergrad degree in Creative Industries. 'I was already doing a lot of creative work in Uni', I thought to myself and since, this past time hobby of mine was not helping me churn out cash, I did not see a reason to stay. It was a mistake but it was one that I had to make. 

You see,  back when I begged my parents or cousins to take amateur photos of me and what I was wearing. I was not doing something that came naturally to me and neither was it an authentic representation or extension of myself. I never really wore any of the 'looks' that I posted here. I was honestly, just trying to imitate everything I saw on Instagram but on a much less budget. I fooled everyone around me and then I fooled myself. I tricked myself into thinking that the version I portrayed here was who I actually was in real life. 

It was a facade. And I had to let that version of me go.

So now, what am I doing here? you may ask.

Honestly, I don't know what the correct answer should be. I graduated from University almost two years ago and I have had a very difficult time finding a job. I have literally looked everywhere here in Brisbane, with no success. I am not going to lie and claim that I did not know, that this was going to happen. People in Creative Industries very rarely enjoy a smooth progression in their career trajectories and I had made peace with that fact, long before I even graduated. 

I am still working at a place, that helps me pay my bills but it is not something I feel very passionate about. I do not hate it and in fact each day, it teaches me gratitude and the honour that lies in the experience of work, itself. I however, do not think that it is wrong for me to admit, that it is not a very fulfilling experience creatively. 

In the back of my head, I have real concerns about the purpose of this 'homecoming'. They say, that with the rise of Instagram, blogs are now dead. The market is also, more saturated than it has ever been and I do not want to add another voice or noise (depending on how you interpret this post) to the echo chamber. 

I made this space to create a creative outlet for myself. I do not think I fulfilled it's purpose the first time around but I am willing to try again because this time it feels like the authentic thing to do. It feels like the most natural thing to do. I do not know for how long I will be here but I hope to make it worth your while by talking about topics that interest me and that might interest you. I hope, you will wish me luck. Thank you!

1 comment :

  1. Such an insightful and honest post.
    I like how you are taking form a space of experience especially for blogging. Instagram literally replaced blogging so you recognising that your voice needs to be important in this space in imperative.
    The honesty of you not trying to post outfits of yourself is refreshing. I had the same problem too and didn't even decide to participate in the world of blogging.
    Thanks.

    ooomaye.com

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